Sunday, April 27, 2008

Oder Neisse radweg - II

Going southwards on Oder-Neisse radweg from Frankfurt (oder), I planned to reach Cottbus. The usual wrestling with online maps revealed a rough estimate of ~120 km to reach Cottbus if I were to travel along the radweg to Forst and then hit the motorway. (or atleast normal streets)

The problem this time was finding the trail. I got stuck on the L381 (it had a cycle lane thankfully) but after reaching Lossow where it met with the highway(L112) I had to scamper to find the radweg. It is here that I could quantify the effect strong wind has been having on my trips of late. With no wind in the afternoon, I hit an average 24kmph easily and reached Eisenhuttenstadt.
After reaching Neuzelle, the terrain became hilly(or I should say slopy as the road was still very good). Tall trees with creepers growing along their lengths were to be found along the way.

Somewhere between Eisenhuttenstadt and Guben, I came across this piece of (farm?)land. On closer inspection, the sandy parts seemed like they'd been recently harvested.
Its been a long time I must admit, since I just lay down in the grass in broad daylight.

In Guben, I found this beautiful street. Germany's answer to Japan's sakura?

And finally the object of much shame, disgust, disgrace et al. The plan was to go to Cottbus, (from where I would catch a train back to Frankfurt oder), but it seems the distance mentioned in the maps was erroneous. If I were to take the radweg, Forst would be 40 km and Cottbus a further 25km (this on the highway). On the other hand If I took the normal road to Cottbus, I had option of taking L380(33km) or L112(45km) and I went by road leading out to L380 until I reached this junction.


Speed Limit of 80kmph and hardly any space to dodge. A Car every 5-10 sec at 18:30. Long story short, after about 15 min of trying to find another way around it, I turned tail, rode back to Guben's railway station and took a train back home at 19:44. A ride of 75-80km had never felt so incomplete.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Checkpoint charlie

After coming to Germany, I've read (tried to, am reading) about its history. The first time I went to Berlin, I ended up buying "The Berlin Wall" by Frederick Taylor. A very interesting read and suggested for anyone trying to find out more about the politics behind one of the most dramatic stand-offs in 20th century. The historic events that shaped Germany after war are described in a style that makes you feel as if the events are unfolding right in front of your eyes.
However, I feel that the author's bitterness about abolition of Deutschemark in exchange for Euro after unification is misplaced. (I won't claim to know too much about Economics, but I doubt a more stable currency is bad for the economy under any conditions).

I visited Checkpoint Charlie today- the most famous/infamous crossing point between East and West Berlin that saw many cat and mouse games between the Allies (now England, France and US) and the Soviet.

The walls from the blockade time are converted to a memorial with history behind this iron curtain posted for all to see and ... remember.


Also check out some of these pics taken from the Berlin TV tower(203m high which the elevator takes you about 40 sec)


In the "Memorial for fallen Jews of Europe", I bought a book called "Five Germanys that I have known" by Fritz Stern. I didn't know who the hell this guy was, just bought it on a whim after reading the preface.
An interruption due to "The undercover economist" in addition to the amount of time I'm reading these days(~40 min a day, mostly on the tram) means it took a long time getting this off the blocks, but the story has become quite interesting, and I hope to finish it soon.

Oder Neisse Radweg

Followed the recipe from last saturday. The target this time - Oder Neisse Cycling trail. Its a cycling way along the river (the small print being for most part which I conveniently didn't notice). Without a map, I ended up in this slush:
Navigating my way through it, I managed to reach this small hillock. A customary hike to the top meant it was already 16:30 and I had to get back to find the route.

The path promised a lot. Far from vehicles zooming past you and threatening to grind you to pieces and a lot of greenery on either side with river in sight for the best part.
However, this dream crashed as soon as I passed Lebus. Here the road was more open and it was mighty tough riding against a stiff breeze blowing at 20-30 km/h.


It got bad enough that I thought of returning from Reitwein, but I'm glad I stuck through till the end.

Only trouble is cold wind that keeps blowing into you numbs your hands completely. I saw a couple of fawns, a deer, and some other animal I couldn't identify and a number of birds. But, by the time I could get the camera out , it would get away. At one point, I tried to unzip my blazer so quickly that I'm sure the fawn ran away just from the sound.
And I did see a couple of hunting wagons parked by the way. My imaginative brain, already on a high due to the breathtaking surroundings began dreaming of getting hit by a stray bullet from these hunters.

Kostrzyn - Check

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Trip to poland

A late night on friday and I was thinking that a trip across the country was as probable as the nice lady* at immigration office gift wrapping my visa and coming home to deliver it as a belated valentine's gift. Waking up at 11 and lazily dragging myself off to the gym just reinforced that belief as it was already 3 in the afternoon by the time I'd showered and settled down.
Having cold cereal (brunch? lunch? evening snack? ) gave me a brainwave(Damn! I should've paid heed to this warning)

But off I went taking my cycle along
Make that "when I got onto my bicycle"

I came to the bridge across the stream that people here like to call "river Oder", on the other side of which lay the sister town of Slubice(Poland). Lured by the promise of unspoken riches and unbelievable beauty, I cycled across the bridge and to circle from one end to the other for about an hour when I saw a road leading out.

On cycling a bit further and out of slubice, I found a sign that said
"kunowice :3km
Osno lubuskie :26km."

A 3km stretch didn't seem like much so I went to kunowice. Ofcourse, I had to make sure that I saw the entire town/village/settlement, so I cycled to the place where they have "town ends" sing - A board with a red line striking across the town's name.

There was another sign next to the "town ends" that read "Nowe Biskupice : 4km".
I had to see this. So off I went again, and in the same way the villages of Sullow, Kowalow, Serbow were all graced by my cycle's presence. Having come this far, I also dragged myself off to Osno Lubuskie. By this time it was already 5:30 in the evening and I thought it prudent to head back when the sun is still shining.
Although I didn't take a camera with me I found this picture of town hall in Osno Lubuskie, at the poland tourism center. Hope they don't mind it.


Thus I fell victim to the devious trap of the Poles who put tempting signs that to me read
"Come one, Come all, Next village is only 3 km ahead. Don't miss this opportunity..."

The road map
View Larger Map


Talking shit about a pretty sunset

Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight

Looking kind of anxious in your cross-armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life anymore
So I blame this town, this job, these friends, the truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself and pinpoint who I am
When I finally get it figured out, I've changed the whole damn plan

Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight

Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
Changed my mind so much I can't even trust it
My mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself

-Modest Mouse


* My troubles with the hot lady in Immigration/Foreign office here in Frankfurt(oder) who has made me visit the same office 5 times and still not issued the schengen visa required for my real eurotrip are beyond the scope of this study.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Anyone can cook - Part II

I have read the paper linked by anonymous reader on my last post. For the interested the abstract is here and the full paper is here.

I have tried to review the paper critically. I loathe to admit it, but I don't understand the statistical methods used in this paper entirely. However, I'm always sceptical when it comes to media, and this will be no exception so I will talk about the issues that bother me.

Looking at the wiki page for the regression method to be used correctly, I find that

"1)The sample must be representative of the population for the inference prediction."

The sample used was equal number of applications from the dalit, muslim and upper class population which violates this basic assumption.(population ratios are 12% muslims, upperclass 25-44% , dalits 24%)

I need not go further but let me add, the study might still have been valid if the "12 applications" sent by the authors of this paper to each job were the only applications they received.
But by their own admission, these were jobs at "entry level" to which any graduate could have access to and advertised widely(a fair assumption).

It doesn't need a genius to figure out that this study falls flat when the number of graduates churned out by our education system each year are considered. Also consider that the number of responses they received (total) was less than 10%.

Even if the "correlation" claimed by this study were to be true, it doesn't imply causation.
On the other hand as some people have pointed out in here, it might be a case of market adaptation.

However, I do realize that we all have stereotypes and bias as demonstrated over at IAT.
I just think that reservations only help in promoting these stereotypes and exacerbating the situation.

Lastly about the concept of introducing reservations in private institutions, it is infringing on personal rights.

PS: on the same note watch this brilliant interview

Anyone can cook

Now that everyone and her grandma has already written about their views on the reservation, I will pull out my post which I had written in response to this post.

I had expressed my opinions in the comments which I will post below with a few edits.
First the assumptions that "Forward castes = Brahmins" and OBC = "dalits" are lazy metaphors at best and at worst, poisonous opportunist rants.

For all the talk about “upper-caste reactionaries”, in the last 10-20 years or even 50 years after independance, hardly has one law been implemented that can be termed “upper caste reactionary” in nature. On the other hand, many laws have been passed “intended for hte benefit of the downtrodden” Whether they have achieved that is a different matter altogether.

According to the surveys at hand, OBC population is between 32-52%. ( a 52% population was shown as rationalization for 27% reservations for OBCs). An SC/ST population combine of 24% in total means that the forward castes make up about 26-44% of the population. In a properly functioning democracy that means no greater clout than the rest of groups and in a skewed system like ours even less so. In such a case, the argument that "upper classes hold all the aces" doesn't hold.

It is true that performance is not solely decided by genes. It is also dependant on nurture. But that is all the more reason that we do away with reservations. Reservations were drafted in with the "noble intention" of leveling the field for socially disadvantaged. However, it is serving only to promote mediocrity.

Whatever be the rationale of caste system, it is a fact that it was used as a vehicle for oppression. It doesn't mean that the upper classes shall now be punished for the sins their ancestors committed.

Unfortunately, reservations in India are seen as a) punishment for the centuries of oppression and b) opportunity to gain (unfair) advantage. The rhetoric of hatred against upper classes attains new heights by each passing day. For example this part of which I will quote below

is one-sided diet itself, that was loaded with cereals—then seen as the cheapest, and the most easily available source of calories. Consequently, this decision, in turn affected the minimum daily wages, the determination of the poverty line, and not to mention, making the Public Distribution System what it is today, i.e. a machinery doling out rice and wheat at cheap rates, but no meat, egg or nuts, or any non-vegetarian food at all. So in a country where vegetarians are a definite minority, we now plan our daily meals based on a notion of a Brahminical notion of a “easily available, balanced diet” *

Anything and everything is turned into a upper class conspiracies against lower classes. We also have people like this who can say something like this

"We should close down the IITs and the IIMs as they pander to the upper-caste economy of the country. Those who pass out from these institutes use their technical and managerial skills to earn dollars abroad. Are they using their skill sets to the benefit of the agro-based economy of the country? Tell me, with rising incomes of our B-school graduates are farmer suicide rates coming down? So what is the use of such education if it cannot be put to any use within the country or for the uplift of the majority of the population who live in villages?"

Its stupid enough that I wouldn't bother commenting about. But turns out he is the HOD at political science department, Osmania university. He also featured on a debate on TV, in which he was calling for "intellectual equality". Excuse me! but I would like to start an agitation for athletic equality. (London 2012, here I come!).

Did I forget to mention that nobody ever cares about or even dares to mention caste in a private organization? People like Mr.HOD above will still argue that its because everybody there belongs to upper class, the organizations are dominated by upper classes and therefore we need reservations there too. However, it might just be respect born out of the fact that everyone there has earned it.

Hatred and revenge will not lead us anywhere. "The Holocaust" is perhaps the most glaring example of where hatred can lead us.

I will borrow a quote from the movie Ratatouille, "Not everyone can be a great artist, however a great artist can come from anywhere".

Monday, April 07, 2008

Power

I have to admit that I've been underestimating the power of knowledge for a longtime. Even when the RTI act was passed, I wondered how knowing would empower us. Its not until I visited Memorial to the Murdered Jews in Berlin that I'd realized.


This memorial has some of the most haunting memoirs written by many Jews from the times when the noose was just starting to tighten, to when they were in ghettos or just before they were hauled away to the concentration camps. The most disturbing theme throughout these is the most effective way in which Nazi's obfuscated their knowledge of what was happening. Very little was known about the fate that lies ahead. All knowledge they had was from stories of others and in times of crises their credibility is low, a fact highlighted quite brilliantly in The Schindler's list as a nighttime dialogue in a ghetto

"No, I can't believe it's true. We are their work force. What sense does it make to kill your own work force ? To go to all this trouble of assembling a work force only to--
No, it can't be true."

This theme of propaganda and censorship recurs in most authoritarian regimes but is most conspicuous in Soviet during Stalin's times, in East Germany during Ulbricht and Honecker and most recently in our good old friend China. In India, we needn't look farther than the emergency and ofcourse the mouthpiece

I couldn't fathom the far reaching consequences of propaganda until I met a colleague from China. When asked about the communist regime he said that he'd thought it was the best system until he'd seen the other side and that probably people outside China knew better history about China including important events like Tiannamen Square incidents. The worst though was his dismissal of Tibetan uprisings as "stupid, because no one will let them go anyway". Perhaps patriotism. But it will be hard to explain the apathy to human rights violation with that alone.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Shades

She felt confident. A lifetime of struggles and identity crises lay behind her. As she lay contemplating about the events that shaped her, a familiar voice called out to her. It seemed to be a voice from long back, back when she was still a little cub, scared and confused.
As they sat chatting, talk turned philosophical. She was confident, confident enough to acknowledge the uncertainties of life. As she talked about them, the voice questioned, shocked, "What happened to all your confidence? You were so confident back then".

It was her turn to be stunned. Was she such an hypocrite earlier? or Did she evolve into someone who could express her emotions better now? or Did she forget how to hide them? or was there any reason anymore to even try to hide? Interesting questions to keep her company even as they parted ways perhaps never to cross paths again.


Confidence for quiet

What a day, that I’ve left behind
You forgave, said I’ve done my time
I’ve been good, animation ryhme
Sisterhood, can I find that line
Not anymore, I don’t feel it
I’m not hopeless, tragic
No, nothing no more to say
I’ve got freedom, no more calling

I don’t care
I’ll walk away
‘Cause I’ve got confidence for quiet
I’m not afraid

I’m not hungry, no I’m over fed
Satisfied, with the life I’ve led
Moving on, to where you can’t see
What is me
Well it’s just for me

Mine end of the line
You don’t hear it crashing silent
You’re all gone left me behind
Is this freedom no one’s calling

I don’t care, I’ll walk away
‘Cause I’ve got confidence for quiet
I’m not afraid

No nothing no more to say
Is this freedom, no one calling

I don’t care, I’ll walk away
‘Cause I’ve got confidence for quiet
I’m not afraid
No I don’t care
I’ll walk away
‘Cause I’ve got confidence for quiet
I’m not afraid
I’ve got confidence
I’m not afraid
-The Corrs

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Love-Hate

Re:Vishal's post here about Ramachandra Guha's reasoning.

Why do we hate Gandhi and Nehru so much? Guha says they are the essential "fall guys" facing the music. I have a different opinion. I believe the answer lies in psychology and not sociology. Our textbooks heap praises on Gandhi and Nehru almost to the point of sycophancy. We grow up almost believing that they were the gods with no reproach.
However, we start seeing their shortcomings once we leave school.

There was an experiment in which the control group was given only positive information about a particular behaviour. The other group was given both positive and negative information. It was found that the group given both sides of the information tends to retain the learning / behaviour better.( This was described in Chapter Memory/Learning of "Introduction to psychology" by Morgan and King, but I can't get my hand on that book right now)

All the policies that were touted as brilliant strategies in our text books seem shallow at their very best. We become more prone to hate them, than we would have been if only their shortcomings were also described in our text books.

It is no coincidence that most voices against Nehru-Gandhi have been raised of late when (a) Information to their shortcomings became more accessible because of the internet and (b) The harm done by those early measures became evident with the surge in economy after LPG. ( Even trying to imagine an average guy in My father's generation criticizing Nehru-Gandhi is impossible)


PS: If anyone has an ebook, I would be grateful.

PPS: I own the hardcopy, so I dont think I'm infringing any copyright :D

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Another saturday night

Oh boy! I take my hats off to all you girls out there. I have no idea how you manage to go shopping for that long a time without breaks, but a saturday shopping trip left me nearly drained. And weren't the sales girls everywhere having the day of their lives! The one at supermarket said something in very fast German and when I asked her to repeat, she started giggling. (Yes buggers that means you are getting all the chocolates that you've asked for- if they survive me until thurday that is )
Then in Berlin, comes the turn of the ladies in the perfumes shop. Not just the ones at the sales counter mind you! Looking at my forlorn face almost everyone burst out laughing, not giggling or smirking. For having gone through this trouble, I better not hear any "smells like goat's urine" comments back home.
If only some of those who were laughing were not aunties, I might have taken a little more amicably to their laughter. Having borne all this in silence, even dignity, I was hoping for a nice little ride home. A beautiful brunette who seemed to be scribbling something into her diary across the seat in the compartment seemed like a decent compensation for all the trouble. But did that squad of 6 policemen, each with an HK MP5 SMG have to come in just then, before I could even butt myself in?

That was the end of that I guess. If this were the US, I'd probably have posted a witty (or pathetic) craiglists "Missed connections" ads that might have got to the best of list and atleast amused a few ( or just got trashed).
Atleast thats one of the few ways to pass time here on saturday nights, other than playing videogames, watching online TV, doing the usual "intellectual junky" stuff and trying to read as much news as you can i.e.



It's another saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

I got in town a month ago
I seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet 'em I could get 'em
But as yet I haven't met 'em
That's how I'm in the state I'm in

Oh,
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Another fella told me
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of bein' my deliv'rance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat named Frankenstein

Ooh, la,
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

It's hard on a fella
When he don't know his way around
If I don't find me a honey
To help me spend my money
I'm gonna have to blow this town

Oh, no
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way
-Cat stevens

Monday, March 10, 2008

Where is your mind?

"I open my mail two weeks after they have arrived and I find that the problem is already solved".

I don't remember who said this, but I just love it. We've all had our share of problems, but having problems is not the problem.(excuse please). And yes, we've all had our share of "melodramatic queen" incidents. But I guess we do(should) grow out of it.

I wonder if the so called teenage angst is limited to teenagers. Stereotypes help us paint with brushes "teenagers", "that time of the month" etc. but the worst thing is when the most rational amongst us feel entitled to something and on not getting it enter into an abyss of self pity and or anger and regress back to those "drama queen" times.

We do take ourselves far too seriously. A step back and a walk in another's shoes is all that is required. Hindsight is 20/20. And most of the times, the things we agonize over seem absolutely worthless in hindsight. For all the evolution of our brains we haven't developed pre-emptive hindsight.(foresight I know, but this sounds better).

Nor has science been able to come up with a cure for this all pervading angst. Although not 100% effective a pill known as "kick up the backside" seems to work in most cases. Yours truly is not modest enough to deny that he is one of the better exponents of this kick, both metaphorically and literally, and that if his services are needed, he is only one call away.


Oh btw,









Teenage Angst


Shine the headlight, straight into my eyes.
Like the roadkill, Im paralysed.
You see through my disguise

At the drive-in, double feature,
Pull the lever, break the fever
And say your last goodbyes.

Since I was born I started to decay.
Now nothing ever ever goes my way

One fluid gesture, like stepping back in time.
Trapped in amber, petrified.
And still not satisfied

Airs and social graces, elocution so divine.
Ill stick to my needle, and my favourite waste of time,
Both spineless and sublime.

Since I was born I started to decay.
Now nothing ever - ever goes my way


-Placebo

PS: "Where is your mind?" -Pixies/Placebo - OST of fight club.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

End of line?

For ICL or a new beginning ? Everyday's drama Isn't it?

Now I'm just hoping someone will file an Anti-trust case against these cricket "governing" bodies

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Trip to beeskov

Another Saturday and another last minute plan. Thought of going to Beeskow and Mullrose lake and coming back. Google maps solved most of the initial issues and set me rolling on course. It was to be ~80km roundtrip and on a warm Febrauary day(11C) I was on the way without even wearing my windcheater.

All was good until I reached this fork.



With beauty(ies) all around, I was flying in the clouds, hands off my handle and eyes all over the place and suddenly was brought crashing down to reality. Agreed that I was just finishing the first line of "keep your eyes off the road and your hands off the handle", but didn't irony have any other clients today?

That left me lying on the ground face up for a minute before I gathered my senses and looked around for the cycle. Other than a few bends (which i could iron out ) it was ok. And I set off for Mullrose lake.


From here, Beeskow was about 19km. Worst part was nearly 13km of these had to be negotiated on the mini highway.(speed limits of upto 80km/hr)
I had to stick to the right of that white line for this 13 km (including 4km on B168). A stiff breeze of 11m/s(courtesy weather.com) and the mental pressure left me nearly drained. Unfortunately my friend in Beeskow wasn't home, so I just looked around and then started back. A brilliant sunset and (thankfully) an uneventful last leg marked the end of the day. Its only after I come home that I was reminded painfully of my knee.

PS: a big thanks to all those drivers who gave me space to ride back safely.

PPS: and I understand it doesn't suit everyone's taste, so here's my red badge of courage in a separate link


The Narrow way

Following the path as it leads towards the Darkness in the North
Weary strangers' faces show their sympathy
They've seen that hope before
And if you want to stay for a little bit
Rest your aching limbs for a little bit
Before you the night is beckoning
And you know you can't delay
You hear the night birds calling you
But you can't touch the restless sky
Close your aching eyes beyond your name
Mist is swelling, creatures crawling,
Hear the roar get louder in your ears
You know the folly was your own
But the force behind can't conquer all your fears
And if you want to stay for a little bit
Rest your aching limbs for a little bit
Before you the night is beckoning
And you know you can't delay
You hear the night birds calling you
But you can't touch the restless sky
Close your aching eyes beyond your name
Throw your thoughts back many years
To the time when there was life in every morning
Perhaps a day will come
When the nights will be as on that morning
And if you want to stay for a little bit
Rest your aching limbs for a little bit
Before you the night is beckoning
And you know you can't delay
You hear the night birds calling you
But you can't touch the restless sky
Close your aching eyes beyond your name
Rest your weary head, be on your way.

-Pink Floyd

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Guten Tag aus Deutschland

Perhaps one of the most enterprising entries seen into a foreignland. Pulled aside at the airport for "special check", unable to find my uncle's friend who was traveling by the same flight, breaking my jacket zipper just before landing in Frankfurt at 3C, and then being mistaken for a policeman (undercover?) all pointed to one thing, Come what might, at the end of the trip, I wouldn't be able to complain that it was boring.



And here's a picture of my bike I bought for 25E, in front of the German Reichstag. Luck's been on my side on important things, what with a cheap furnished apartment in the middle of the town, then a secondhand cheap washing machine and now this cycle.

Makes one believe that there is a limited amount of fortune allocated for each person and you have to make careful use of it, doesn't it ?

And while I was here, with the thought of learning some German history, I picked up this book. Definitely worth a read,to relearn all the lessons that history teaches us and which we promptly forget.

Stranger, stranger in a stange land.
He looked at me as one who should run.
We asked him to smile for a photograph.
Waited a while to see if we could make him laugh.

So did I seek for a cigarette.
His smiling face I can't forget.
It looked like it crossed the street.
He said, I'll wait here.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.

Stranger, stranger in a strange land.
He look at me like I was the one who should run.
I watched as he watched us get back on the bus.
I watched there it was.
The way it was there.
He was with us.
And I really don't mind sleeping on the floor.
I can't sleep after what I saw.
I wrote this letter to tell you,
The way I feel.
I wish you were here.
To see what I could see, and hear.
I wish you were here.

-U2

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

In this world....

He sat pondering, if things would've been different, "how things would've been different" had he overcome that one last obstacle. The one that separates men from the boys, winners from the runners. Now all he could see across the table was a battered soul like his own, jaded by the familiar journey. He reflects upon the fact that its a voyage everyone has to go through. Yet, a few of them manage to enjoy the journey itself. He questions why he couldn't be like those happy people and sees the question mirrored in the eyes looking at him from across the table.

He knew those eyes, had seen, been seen by them and memorized each minute detail of those eyes which looked worn out beyond their age. He silently soaked up the knowledge of what they had gone through, what they were going through. Yet, not a word had been spoken, not since they parted ways fifteen years ago. Almost half their life they'd been away, yet the memories of the other half continued to haunt them. Bittersweet memories which he'd vigilantly stomped upon each time they started showing life, now overwhelmed him.

"He hadn't fail. Not according to the people that mattered", he kept telling himself. By all accounts, he'd been quite successful, respected, admired perhaps even envied by many. Yet, he couldn't but give in to the feeling that he'd failed somewhere, sometime. Looking up, he saw
tears welling up in the eyes. He couldn't decide if they were the tears of relief when two castaways meet in the middle of nowhere or if they were the tears of anger for having left them behind. After all in the earlier stretch of this journey, they were companions, companions who understood each other better than themselves.

He understood the pain in those eyes but knew little of the details. They spoke of the bad marriage, scavenging relatives, uncaring partners and endless seas of the loneliness. They longed for a time in the past when it wasn't so bad. He shudders as he thinks of his lonely sojourn in distant lands. He gathers the courage to speak at last, but words dry up in his throat. He wonders if he could atone for the cowardice of the past, if 'late' is really better than never and if having loved and lost is really better than never having loved at all. There he sits and tries for one last time, turning back time, trying to vomit the words he knew he couldn't bring himself to speak fifteen years ago.


Sad Lisa

She hangs her head and cries in my shirt.
She must be hurt very badly.
Tell me what's making you sadly?
Open your door - don't hide in the dark.
You're lost in the dark - you can trust me.
'Cause you know that's how it must be.

Lisa - Lisa, sad Lisa - Lisa.

Her eyes like windows trickelin�rain
Upon the pain getting deeper.
Though my love wants to relieve her.
She walks alone from wall to wall.
Lost in her hall, she can't hear me.
Though I know she likes to be near me.

Lisa - Lisa, sad Lisa - Lisa.

She sits in a corner by the door.
There must be more I can tell her.
If she really wants me to help her.
I'll do what I can to show her the way.
And maybe one day I will free her.
Though I know no one can see her.

Lisa - Lisa, sad Lisa - Lisa.
- Cat stevens

Monday, October 22, 2007

Slow news day

I understand the bombing in karachi was important, but did we need confirmation that Bhutto was safely escorted out of the place from every tom dick and harry even after the same thing had been reported by innumerable people who'd been interviewed?

Atleast that could be considered pivotal, but the Bobby Jindal euphoria? He claims quite clearly that he doesn't consider himself an Indian and doesn't consider himself a representative of the Indian section in the U.S, and still the media goes ga-ga over his election. On top of that, he's a conservative "against abortion and supports continued efforts in Iraq". Ah, and how can one forget the "Mahendra singh dhoni bowled over by deepika" and "Saif and kareena ...blh blah " aired once every five minutes for the entire day.

Of course, the news anchors themselves seem quite unable to lend any respectability to the news what so ever. Reminds me of a curious encounter with a couple in a dhaba( well not exactly an encounter). Turned out the lady wanted to become a journalist/reporter of some sort and the gentleman had been giving her gyaan of how she needed to work on her kannada skills and should learn to handle herself better and so on. Ofcourse she was put off by the direct criticism and the story went something like :
One pitcher of beer: 200Rs,
Being drunk enough not to know you're criticizing your girl friend: 500 Rs
Kiss and make up : priceless

Throw away your television

Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision
Master waits for it's collision now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

Throw away your television
Make a break big intermission
Recreate your super vision now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

[Chorus:]
Renegades with fancy gauges
Slay the plague for it's contagious
Pull the plug and take the stages
Throw away your television now

Throw away your television
Take the noose off your ambition
Reinvent your intuition now
It's a repeat of a story told
It's a repeat and it's getting old

[Chorus]

Throw away your television
Salivate to repetition
Levitate this ill condition now
It's a repeat
-Red Hot chili Peppers

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Bicycle diaries

A second trip of 100+ km on my trusty bike(thats bicycle for you) in as many weeks has given me time to be philosophical and reason for my friends to think I have a strong masochistic streak.

Firstly details out of the way - Pearly valley or Muthyala Maduvu can be reached from bangalore in two ways. It is about 45 km from Silk board junction in Bangalore if one takes the hosur road.Go past Electronic city and you'll reach a turning into Annekal. Going past Annekal, there's only one road to follow, until you reach a "Y" junction. Path to the right takes to Pearl Valley and left reconnects to Hosur.

The second way is to go straight up Bannerghatta road past the wildlife sanctuary and there's only one road to follow that leads to Annekal. It looked as if it was going to pour down quite heavily on the morning of this trip and with choices in hand, I was confused between the two ways and ended up going half way along Bannerghatta road and then switching back to CSB. All in all covered ~60km on the way to pearl valley. Had a jolly good time and came back by the second route with the journey taking nearly 6 hrs. I had my share of epiphanies during the course of these two trips, which I thought to record here:

1) Even if you feel that you are under the weather a little, go on right ahead, fortune favours the brave. It might not rain and the clouds might just do you a favour by keeping out the sun.
2) Uphill slopes and downhill slopes are common on the road.
3) Every uphill is followed by a downhill slope.
4) Tougher the "uphill", smoother(and therefore more exhilarating) is the "downhill"
5) A lot of "uphill slopes" that seem daunting at first glance aren't really that difficult to overcome once you start cycling up them.
6) If you are on a nice comfortable downhill slope, remember that the next uphill is just around the corner. So don't sit on your ass but start pedaling little by little if you want to make it up without too much difficulty
7) You can have an all flat road, but it isn't too much fun. The best road is one with a nice combination of uphills followed by downhills (to bring in the exhilaration) followed by quiet flat parts(when you can sit back and relax a little)
8) Winds can heal your exhaustion when downhill, but can hurt you really bad when you are uphill.

Bicycle Race

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I dont like star wars
You say rolls I say royce
You say God give me a choice
You say lord I say christ
I dont believe in peter pan
Frankenstein or superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls theyll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks get set go
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicyi want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
Bicycle race

-Queen

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Odyssey

What started of as an attempt to read James Joyce's Ulysses ended in me reading "The Odyssey" in all its glory( a translation of course). Although evolutionary psychologists want to pen down everything we do or every behavioural pattern we show on our need to survive, to be the fittest, works like these tell you that things weren't always the same as they are now. Even if we give in to the idea that mythological epics like these and more(read: mahabharata, ramayana...) are mere fiction or perhaps allegorical ellipses, even a fictional work tells one a lot about the social attitudes in existence in those times.


Aside : Am I the only one who dreams (or is it has nightmares) dreams that belong not to me but to the characters and to the plot in the book that I've just read and enjoyed(or in some cases reading and enjoying)?

Tales of Brave Ulysses

You thought the leaden winter would bring you down forever,
But you rode upon a steamer to the violence of the sun.

And the colors of the sea blind your eyes with trembling mermaids,
And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses:
How his naked ears were tortured by the sirens sweetly singing,
For the sparkling waves are calling you to kiss their white laced lips.

And you see a girl's brown body dancing through the turquoise,
And her footprints make you follow where the sky loves the sea.
And when your fingers find her, she drowns you in her body,
Carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of your mind.

The tiny purple fishes run laughing through your fingers,
And you want to take her with you to the hard land of the winter.

Her name is Aphrodite and she rides a crimson shell,
And you know you cannot leave her for you touched the distant sands
With tales of brave Ulysses; how his naked ears were tortured
By the sirens sweetly singing.

The tiny purple fishes run lauging through your fingers,
And you want to take her with you to the hard land of the winter


-Cream

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Life imitates art

Been reading John Mortimer's political sattire "The sound of trumpets". It's a hilarious read with all the makings of morning's breaking news, or as the news channels like to call it "the top story". When works like these make their appearance in art, one has to wonder if the question to be asked half the time is if art imitated life or life imitates art?

Description of one of the characters in the book goes :
"She also grew up with a beauty which provoked dangerous and anarchic thoughts in men,but her quiet certainty on almost every subject cooled and often disconcerted them. What her friends and contemporaries called "having sex" or even 'a bit of a fling' she would call 'a commitment', a word which produced serious thoughts,and sometimes hesitation, in the men whom she took a fancy to and who found her at the first glance extremely desirable. "

And one wonders if this turn-off factor when a woman is smarter than self is an inherent response or a learnt response. Making peace with the smart lady that may perchance come across this post, there are some people who disagree with this mainstream line of thinking making them the deviants.


Imitation of Life

Charades, pop skill
Water hyacinth, named by a poet
Imitation of life
Like a koi in a frozen pond
Like a goldfish in a bowl
I don't want to hear you cry

That's sugarcane that tasted good
That's cinnamon, that's Hollywood
Come on, come on, no-one can see you try

You want the greatest thing
The greatest thing since bread came sliced
You've got it all, you've got it sized

Like a Friday fashion show teenager
Freezing in the corner
Trying to look like you don't try

That's sugarcane that tasted good
That's cinnamon, that's Hollywood
Come on, come on, no-one can see you try

No-one can see you cry

That's sugarcane that tasted good
That's freezing rain, that's what you could
Come on, come on, no-one can see you cry

This sugarcane
This lemonade
This hurricane, I'm not afraid
Come on, come on, no-one can see me cry

This lightning storm
This tidal wave
This avalanche, I'm not afraid
Come on, come on, no-one can see me cry

That's sugarcane that tasted good
That's who you are, that's what you could
Come on, come on, no-one can see you cry

That's sugarcane that tasted good
That's who you are, that's what you could
Come on, come on, no-one can see you cry
-R.E.M

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Motivation....

Comes in different shapes and sizes. Having bunked on friday and used that time to wander around bangalore on my bicycle, I decided I would go ahead and bite the bullet on saturday, i.e do a cycling trip to Nandi hills and back. ( From my house it probably is ~70 km one way).

But slight fever on friday night was going to put an end to this plans it seemed like, Until I remembered my friend Adi whining about how much of a "loser-aaps" it would be that I would make the trip on a cycle whereas they struggled to get there even on their bikes (In their defense, they returned without reaching the hilltop once because of the cold at 4a.m and because they were a 'little' high). Thanks to that statement, which I desperately wanted to prove right :p I started on the trip a little low on endurance scale, but high on spirits.

"It is the first step that is the hardest" they say, so once I left home on my cycle, there wasn't too much danger of me turning back. Long nice drive with only my ipod for company, I made the initial 62 km in 3 hrs and the next 8 km up the hill in one hr. On my way back the first 22 km I could cover in an hour, but the next 40 km on NH-7 left me exhausted and frustated.(Ofcourse the last 10 km within Bangalore left me covered with soot and vehicle exhaust ) A strong wind blowing into you might be all well and nice if you are driving a motor powered vehicle, but on a cycle its a completely different ball game.

The Loneliness of The Long Distance Runner

The tough of the track
With the wind
And the rain that's beating down on
Your back
Your heart's beating loud
And goes on getting louder
And goes on even more 'til the
Sound is ringing in your head
With every step you tread
And every breath you take
Determination
Makes you run never stop
Got to win got to run 'til you drop
Keep the pace hold the race
Your mind is getting clearer
You're over half way there
But the miles they never seem to end
As if you're in a dream
Not getting anywhere
It seems so futile

[Chorus]
Run on and on
Run on and on
The loneliness of the long distance runner

I've got to keep running the course
I've got to keep running and win at
All costs
I've got to keep going be strong
Must be so determined and push myself on

Run over stiles across fields
Turn to look at who's on your heels
Way ahead of the field
The line is getting nearer but do
You want the glory that goes
You reach the final stretch
Ideals are just a trace
You feel like throwing the race
It's all so futile

[Chorus:]

-Iron Maiden