...

Its been over an year since I've written this

 "As I had written earlier, festivals seem to have lost meaning to us here in a campus insulated from the outside world, But I get a feeling that I should be home this time around for diwali."

And it was true. I was perhaps never as glad to have listened to my intuition as I did then. For that was to be the last time my grandmother and I met. When she passed away that january, I couldn't make it home.  In a way it changed my perspective on relations. I didnot grieve for her death, as an inevitable thing as death is not to be grieved for.

Instead what I've learnt is that relationships are meant to be cherished. It is one place where quantity can never overcome quality. As many of my friends who graduated suddenly realise the safety net of their circle suddenly gone, we try to hold onto the past that is constantly slipping away, we get nostalgic about the times that were, and about the silliness of some of the things that have come to be.

 But, change cometh and so we have to move on and adapt. Its a new dawn, a new beginning and we shall survive.

This was something I'd written last year too

"For a long long time throughout the last year, I have been growing restless in an effort to find myself, find a purpose, find a group whichI could identify myself with. But Alas, it hasn't been fruitful so far. One thing it has taught me though is that you'll only belong to a group if you belive that you do. When I look back at it, I am involved in a whole lot of activities, am around with a lot of people, but never belonged there, I am there but never There"

An year into the future and has anything changed? I guess not much. I am still a part of many activities, but it is the activity that binds me to the others, not people.  In the words of a friend " The bonds grown under a common vice are very strong." and unfortunately I haven't found that vice yet ;).

We're not sentimental
We're just oil-filled machines
Trying not to say the things we mean
You gotta show us a little love

Our big brother tells us
That it's something in our genes
Pretty soon we'll all be coming clean
So start showing a little skin

I'm the judge and jury
I'm the lion and the lamb
And this is the beginning of the end
It's breaking you down
We're breaking you down

We're unrecognizable
We're sunken submarines
Trying to escape before we're seen
You're gonna miss us when we're gone

I'm the judge and jury
I'm the lion and the lamb
And this is the beginning of the end
It's breaking you down
We're breaking you down

"The Beginning of the end"
 Guster

Age of censorship has ended

This is more like it.

The US defence department has set up a new unit to better promote its message across 24-hour rolling news outlets, and particularly on the internet. The Pentagon said the move would boost its ability to counter "inaccurate" news stories and exploit new media.

Added to this, 1984 is not too far away.

A jiffy

is actually a unit of time, some fraction of a second. But I shall post this short note and be "off in a jiffy" to my daily classes. Have started work, and ten of us new college graduates(NCGs) as we are called are being "trained"
In the midst of all this, we had our convocation and it was weird seeing the life in the campus go on without us. We missed the campus a lot, but when we went back there, it didn't seem that anybody missed us all that much. (or maybe they knew that we didn't really go anywhere) They might have, but doesn't really make a difference. Similarly after death, it is us who will miss life, not the other way round. People might grieve for a day or two, but nobody will miss you as much as you will miss life. On that nore,

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Close your eyes
And bow your head
To rest your soul
And to praise the dead

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Dry your eyes
And stand upright
Put a smile on your face
He wouldn't want us to cry

The sun will rise
The stars will shine
Turning day to dusk
And night to dawn
We'll pass on
But until that time

Say Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Say Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Have mercy
It's a wonderful life
Eternal rest for the weary
Mourners party tonight

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Wave your hands
But don't say goodbye
We're all gonna meet you
On the other side

"Say Hallelujah"

-Tracy Chapman

And we'll float on

Happened to belistening to this song by modest mouse, a quaint band with cool music quite coincidentally before going to the swimming pool today.

I backed my car into a cop car, the other day
Well he just drove off, sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what did i say
Well you just laughed it off, it was all ok

And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on any way, well

A fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on exactly the same day
Well we'll float on, good news is on the way

And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't you worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

Alright already and we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy
We'll all float on...alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on, ok
Dont worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on

Alright already we'll all float on
(Alright)
No dont you worry we'll all float on
(Alright)
All float on...

A time for every purpose under heaven

This is one of my last posts as a student in IIT Bombay as we near the time when we shall graduate. Its a bittersweet time this. Each hostel has a valedictory function( that we call valfi in short) these days. It is then that we realize or are forced to acknowledge that the time for us has come to an end. We celebrate this function with an amount of spice added as friends try to embellish, exaggerate facts and embarass their friends before paying a tribute and wishing them farewell. This is the (in)famous and dreaded - if you have done something naughty (because things have a way of turning up exactly as you wouldnt have wanted them to) profile reading.

At the end of each of these readings, the person (whose caricature the profile has been) is given a chance to speak. To really say all that needed to be said and was asking to be, but wasn't because of various reasons. All is forgiven on this night as most of us get drunk and share memories,this is when many tears are shed, a night to remember it certainly is.

Here's a short video of the memories we shall cherish and here is one made by our juniors.
Signing off with a nod to dixi for singing these lines after his profile was read.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger’s hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There’s danger on the edge of town
Ride the king’s highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he’s old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we’ll do the rest

The blue bus is callin’ us
The blue bus is callin’ us
Driver, where you taken’ us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...i want to...fuck you

C’mon baby, take a chance with us
C’mon baby, take a chance with us
C’mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin’ a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin’ a blue rock
C’mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you’ll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

-The Doors

Had to add this post after listening to this song twice in a row. The first song i heard that was sung by tracy chapman was fast car. Since that time, I have been on the lookout for her other works as they somehow seem to magically draw you back once you hear it. This is "Say hallelujah" from the album " Let it Rain" the latest that I caught hold of.

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Close your eyes
And bow your head
To rest your soul
And to praise the dead

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Dry your eyes
And stand upright
Put a smile on your face
He wouldn't want us to cry

The sun will rise
The stars will shine
Turning day to dusk
And night to dawn
We'll pass on
But until that time

Say Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Say Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Have mercy
It's a wonderful life
Eternal rest for the weary
Mourners party tonight

Say Hallelujah
Throw up your hands
The bucket is kicked
The body is gone

Wave your hands
But don't say goodbye
We're all gonna meet you
On the other side